We have failed...

A new year is almost upon us, most people see New Years as a time where they could start over, better themselves in many ways; lost weight, be nicer, save money, etc. I too, once saw this time as "turning over a new left", but now, as I become older and see the world in a different realm, I see this as a time to say that regardless of what you do in 2006, we have failed.

Bold statement for a bold thought; why? Cause I see the world getting worse and worse no matter what people "plan" on doing new in the new year. I was sitting talking to Koop (http://lilkoop.blogspot.com) about his recent post. He stating, in a quick version, that the world is going nuts, and I 100% agree. I wake up everyday to news of murder, I go to sleep hearing about family troubles and hardships. Through the day, random phone conversations about unhealthy children and overweight parents. I see parents not parenting their own children, hearing from my girlfriend that parents are working so much that they have hired nannies to take care of their children. Little kids throwing fits in stores cause they didn't get something and the parents not doing anything about it. And you know what.....???

The same thing is going to happen next year, and the year after that, so on and so on. The world is changing and I for one do not like what is going on; sure its easy for someone who doesn't see my view to say "Why don't you change it"; but due to the corruption of various systems, I am in no position to do so, and if I was, more than likely I wouldn't see the world like I see it now. The the head of a snake is evil, then this whole body is.

I guess every generation has gone through what my current one is facing now, and honestly, as humans, we still haven't learned, nor will we ever. From going to war for multiple reasons that not even our president knows, to the economy going to hell, to even Canada giving the thumbs up for "group sex". Is the world just throwing moral's, laws, rules, and common sense out the window?

Why can't they see it? Why can't they see why we shouldn't? Why? Cause the cycle of failing is in continuous motion.

100 MPH and Climbin'

Most people don't know this about me, but I feel that writing and pictures are the best ways to convey a message. Writing is VERY therapeutic; when you just write and don't worry about being interrupted and your thoughts are complete. The latter, pictures are worth a thousand words; so they say. I believe a picture is worth a thousand emotions. Here is why...

The last couple of weeks were a joyous time for myself and some of my closest life long friends. My old room mate is getting married to a really good friend of mine (I like to believe that when each of them called me and asked about the other, I had a hand in them getting together) and the other just had his "seed". Both of those are great achievements and celebrations that will never be forgotten. So, yesterday I came home from work, sat back and looked at my DVD's. Didn't find a movie to watch so I decided to check out some old photos from my college years....

As I mentioned before, a thousand emotions, and they all came out yesterday. Sitting at my chair, crying about funny pictures, times and scenarios. Diggin' in the crates and seeing my boys chillin in the room with Madden 2002 on the screen, or kicking with liquor and card games. Going back and remembering the day and the second you took the shot. Now that those times are behind you, your suppose to look forward to the future....But seeing my past brought out emotions and feelings that were closed with the acceptance of my degree.

It got me thinking about how each one of our lives has changed. Most are getting married, getting lil ones or planning on doing something big. Which is real good, probably the best thing we can be doing right now. We all still keep in touch and, from what I have seen, haven't changed a bit. Life is changing quick, I still remember the week Mason was snowed in and we all were chillin in Amer and Kwmas room, Tyrone AKA "Brandy Not Monica"(ROFL) and Shawn doing something stupid LOL. Marcus and his broke knee and myself with a flaky shoulder; not to mention Kwam and his busted ankle and Amer....Did something....LOL. Playing Ball together in the field house and Amer and I trying to dunk. Shawn completely messing up the words to Ludacris and who could forget "Baiter"???!!! Ryan wreaking his car with Shawn in it. Kwam, Amer and I never going to class for EVPP and passing, watching people bust their asses on the ICE walking to class. Amer's addiction to GTA and how we bought a weak ass sub from Best Buy. And who can forget Xzibit for Mason Day???!!!

That just some of the memories....And really that was in one semester. I can say with all my heart I love all of y'all and I will be there no matter what. You guys made going to Mason an "experience" and not a "challenge". If you need anything, you know the digits (Amer don't lose your phone or back your numbers up or something) call me!


Side note: Kwam, your daughter is going to have a horrible childhood, cause Uncle Brian, Marcus, Amer, Ryan (good luck explaining that one), Shawn, Grant aren't going to let her date any old dude.

congratulations Kwam and Sylvia for having a healthy baby girl!
congratulations to Nick and stacks, I honestly don't know what I say that night but Lauren has confirmed it was something nice.

Don't get out of reach with any of your people from college, they are a valuable asset to you, be it just someone to talk to about everyday life to the person who can get you a better job; friends don't let friends leave....Ever!

WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember having a conversation with someone from high school, I stated that we were indeed getting old and our 10 year anniversary is coming faster than we realize. This person shook his head and stated that, "I am nowhere near where I want to be"; a looked at him with a strange face, for his person has graduated and is now moldding their own life. I said, "where do you want to be" and a elborate tale followed. It ended with, "I'm not going to my reunion unless I have a million in the bank". I laughed, be this person was serious.

When did your banking account become the judge of your well-being?

Every one of my old friends I run into always says "Oh, you in IT and graduated...Your set". That couldn't be further from the truth. Just cause you make X number of dollars doesn't mean your living on sugar hill. I owe more than I make, which is the case with most college grads. While at Mason, a student a couple years back posted the salaries of all employees of the University. This person went to court and won the battle to post them openly. I check it one day, curious of what this teachers make and was shocked. I had a great english teacher one semister, she listened and helped the students in every way she could. I scrolled down to check her salary....30k???!! I then looked at the highest paid people in the university....the President and the Basketball coach.....huh???

Did I see this right? The person who is helping me get an education and teaching me life lessons is making about 1/4 the salary of our basketball coach?? We haven't been to the NCAA tournament since 2000 and he is getting 6 figuers??? I couldn't believe myself!

Fastfoward to the present, where I come home, get into my chill clothes and park myself infront of my tv and turn on sportcenter, they were discussing T.O. or "the asshole" as I call him, and how much money he is going to miss out on due to his "episodes". "Roughly around 4 Million dollars". 4 Mill??? Thats a lot of money....to the average indivisual. He probably has that much tied up in cars and houses. Probably one of his houses are 4 mill. We pay these "athelets" millions of dollars to see them play a sport; but yet we can only give the teacher of our students 30k???? What the hell is wrong in this world?

"They get hurt, they put their bodies on the line every time they play"....and they have some of the best doctors in the world! Yet, when I get a cold, Nyquil is recommended by 4 out of 5 9-5 employees. This world is ass backwards, and its depressing.

At work, I was talking to our intern (Sup Paolo), he had in his AIM profile that Virginia Tech athletes; who have a "free ride" to the university are living in section 8 housing in Blackburg for little or no rent; taking spots for needing families who don't have the joys of getting a free education. Not to mention, the University gives them a cut every month for living off campus, so they can use that on anything they want, be it books, clothes, Xbox, shoes, liqour, etc. Oh, I forgot to mention that they have the option to live on campus as well, cause there is more than enough space for them. Yet, a family on welfare has to wait and recieve rejection letter after rejection letter cause they have no spots. The Univeristy knows about this and states "if they aren't breaking the rules then they are allowed to do it". No offense, but VT has to be the most ass backwards school for stating that. (Also, there are others Univeristies doing the same thing). How about having a heart and giving to those in need? I think not doing that is "breaking the rules".

So we give athletes the best of the best and give the teachers of our youths nothing.....WAKE UP!!!!!

Cloudy Brain....

My brain is cloudy...much like the weather which is outside. Cloudy, cause the sense of direction isn't in view right now; also I have so much stuff on my mind, that I can't really sort out my emotions. This weekend was kind of rough for me, though I didn't show it

Friday, chillin with the fellas, worried about my baby as she was a bit under the weather. Normal things a Man does for his Woman. Had a great time with Koop and Marcus, Hogg came through, we talked about "things" and "things" I want to do before I leave this area. Emotions number one set in...

Emotion #1: To be a greater man - Through college, for most of the years there I wanted to become more than the regular student. Not grade wise, cause I don't think that grades reflect ones intellect; but more of a outgoing modivator for the black community at Mason (Which still needs a lot of help). Through certain "issues"; that want didn't come true. People in the "know" always said I should of did it, but I didn't want to cheat myself and others out of becoming "more". I am in talks with some peope now and trying to make my move in 2006. (Fitting year for it as well)

Emotion #2: Nortel PEC Holiday Party....GREAT FUN! I haven't had that much fun in a while and it felt real good. At the end of the night, I thought to myself, "Man, I can't wait til next years party"; but knowning that "we" are trying to do, that will not happen. Not only that, but I doubt most people will not be with the company at that time either. That hits me hard, I have worked with some great people in various jobs, most I still keep in contact with, but its a difference between seeing the person every day and shooting someone an e-mail every few months.

Emotion #3: My Dad - Had lunch with him on saturday afternoon, felt great cause I think out of all the people I know, he is the one who understands me the most, and when he doesn't he asks me straight out. Had a great conversation with him and we iron out some "thoughts" of mine that he was curious about.

Emotion #4 - I caught heat from various places with my "7 Things List" (which was updated). As my father put it, "What you write and think isn't necessarly going to be what other people think". Which is true, and I agreed with him on that. The wording was a off and wasn't intended to alienate any persons or races. For those who asked about it with an open mind, I Thank you for your concern. Instead of calling someone a "racist" and jumping to a conclusion, you wanted to know more about why the words were said (or typed).

Emotion #5 - Friends - These last couple of months, I really have to Thank my friends for being there and understanding me. From discussing ones issues, giving advice and listening, to getting our butts kicked in a video game. Thanks

Emotion #6 - Being by ones self. Not due to anything anyone has done, but I have a lot on my mind, which I tend to like to work out on my own. Nothing is really bothering me, but its one of those "B needs to chill and have time to himself" type chills. I probably can do that during the work week, so that should really be a non factor.

Cloudy Brain