Cloudy Brain....
My brain is cloudy...much like the weather which is outside. Cloudy, cause the sense of direction isn't in view right now; also I have so much stuff on my mind, that I can't really sort out my emotions. This weekend was kind of rough for me, though I didn't show it
Friday, chillin with the fellas, worried about my baby as she was a bit under the weather. Normal things a Man does for his Woman. Had a great time with Koop and Marcus, Hogg came through, we talked about "things" and "things" I want to do before I leave this area. Emotions number one set in...
Emotion #1: To be a greater man - Through college, for most of the years there I wanted to become more than the regular student. Not grade wise, cause I don't think that grades reflect ones intellect; but more of a outgoing modivator for the black community at Mason (Which still needs a lot of help). Through certain "issues"; that want didn't come true. People in the "know" always said I should of did it, but I didn't want to cheat myself and others out of becoming "more". I am in talks with some peope now and trying to make my move in 2006. (Fitting year for it as well)
Emotion #2: Nortel PEC Holiday Party....GREAT FUN! I haven't had that much fun in a while and it felt real good. At the end of the night, I thought to myself, "Man, I can't wait til next years party"; but knowning that "we" are trying to do, that will not happen. Not only that, but I doubt most people will not be with the company at that time either. That hits me hard, I have worked with some great people in various jobs, most I still keep in contact with, but its a difference between seeing the person every day and shooting someone an e-mail every few months.
Emotion #3: My Dad - Had lunch with him on saturday afternoon, felt great cause I think out of all the people I know, he is the one who understands me the most, and when he doesn't he asks me straight out. Had a great conversation with him and we iron out some "thoughts" of mine that he was curious about.
Emotion #4 - I caught heat from various places with my "7 Things List" (which was updated). As my father put it, "What you write and think isn't necessarly going to be what other people think". Which is true, and I agreed with him on that. The wording was a off and wasn't intended to alienate any persons or races. For those who asked about it with an open mind, I Thank you for your concern. Instead of calling someone a "racist" and jumping to a conclusion, you wanted to know more about why the words were said (or typed).
Emotion #5 - Friends - These last couple of months, I really have to Thank my friends for being there and understanding me. From discussing ones issues, giving advice and listening, to getting our butts kicked in a video game. Thanks
Emotion #6 - Being by ones self. Not due to anything anyone has done, but I have a lot on my mind, which I tend to like to work out on my own. Nothing is really bothering me, but its one of those "B needs to chill and have time to himself" type chills. I probably can do that during the work week, so that should really be a non factor.
Cloudy Brain
Friday, chillin with the fellas, worried about my baby as she was a bit under the weather. Normal things a Man does for his Woman. Had a great time with Koop and Marcus, Hogg came through, we talked about "things" and "things" I want to do before I leave this area. Emotions number one set in...
Emotion #1: To be a greater man - Through college, for most of the years there I wanted to become more than the regular student. Not grade wise, cause I don't think that grades reflect ones intellect; but more of a outgoing modivator for the black community at Mason (Which still needs a lot of help). Through certain "issues"; that want didn't come true. People in the "know" always said I should of did it, but I didn't want to cheat myself and others out of becoming "more". I am in talks with some peope now and trying to make my move in 2006. (Fitting year for it as well)
Emotion #2: Nortel PEC Holiday Party....GREAT FUN! I haven't had that much fun in a while and it felt real good. At the end of the night, I thought to myself, "Man, I can't wait til next years party"; but knowning that "we" are trying to do, that will not happen. Not only that, but I doubt most people will not be with the company at that time either. That hits me hard, I have worked with some great people in various jobs, most I still keep in contact with, but its a difference between seeing the person every day and shooting someone an e-mail every few months.
Emotion #3: My Dad - Had lunch with him on saturday afternoon, felt great cause I think out of all the people I know, he is the one who understands me the most, and when he doesn't he asks me straight out. Had a great conversation with him and we iron out some "thoughts" of mine that he was curious about.
Emotion #4 - I caught heat from various places with my "7 Things List" (which was updated). As my father put it, "What you write and think isn't necessarly going to be what other people think". Which is true, and I agreed with him on that. The wording was a off and wasn't intended to alienate any persons or races. For those who asked about it with an open mind, I Thank you for your concern. Instead of calling someone a "racist" and jumping to a conclusion, you wanted to know more about why the words were said (or typed).
Emotion #5 - Friends - These last couple of months, I really have to Thank my friends for being there and understanding me. From discussing ones issues, giving advice and listening, to getting our butts kicked in a video game. Thanks
Emotion #6 - Being by ones self. Not due to anything anyone has done, but I have a lot on my mind, which I tend to like to work out on my own. Nothing is really bothering me, but its one of those "B needs to chill and have time to himself" type chills. I probably can do that during the work week, so that should really be a non factor.
Cloudy Brain
posted by BMass at 20:24
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