My Faith...

Most people don't know that I am a God loving man. I pray and read the Bible almost everyday of the week. I attend church twice a month and meditate on the reasons and the motives of life. I know where my places is both here and when I pass. What bothers me though, its that I don't know any thing about my close friends. I don't wear my faith on my shoulder, but you can sure see it in my actions and my decisions. My fam, I can see something, but I dont know what it is. I dont like talking about my religion to others, I honestly feel that Lauren is the only person to truely know what and how I feel about it.

I sit in church, daydreaming if you want to call it that, and think about if I brought some of my fam to church with me would they make a crucial decision in their lives? Would God move them or maybe would they help themselves? I wouldn't pressure them, cause I feel its something that people need to find themselves. Sometimes stuff happens and you dont know why, or you can see the good side of a rainy day; or wake up refreshed from a good night sleep; or confess that you need help in life and might not see something that moment, but it will happen when you need it.

I challenge my fam and friends to seek something more than what you see in everyday life. Seek the reason why the birds sing at 7am with no alarm clock, or the reason clouds form. You might be able to say "science" by I challenge you to figure out how "science" got here....

Secrets..

You can tell by their actions, the way they carry themselves on a beautiful day. The way that the talk, as if to say "I am ashamed" but they don't give the slightest clue to the fact. Its the materialistic things that give it away. Its a birthday gift that you bought for your girl, or a toy for a child. Your so happy to give them something you know they will enjoy that your own emotions give it away.

I try not to keep secrets, they aren't healthy for you in the first place, also I don't have anything to hide from anyone. God sees me for who I am, so why should I care if people know the same thing my maker knows? Others, i'm afraid do have secrets....

When your a child, your parents didn't tell you certain things. Be it a stupid question you asked at the dinner table (Dad, what is Viagra?) or something that you shouldn't of found in the first place. (I'll let your minds roam on that one). Your parents probably justified their actions by the saying "Your too young to understand" or something to that effect. What happens when you get old enough and they still keep secrets from you? That "justified answer" is now something they can't use so they either tell you the truth or make a horrible excuse not to tell you. Or you could simpliy spectulate and not say anything and write it in your blog....

The latter one sounds familiar. I have questions to secrets that probably will have two different accounts depending on who I ask. For example, the real reason my parents split (the biggest action of my life) I have stories and spectulation on why they split, but will I ever know fully, I doubt it. I can ask my dad or my mom and have two opposite stories. Even if they gave the same account, for some reason there would be something that is missing, something that would make me fully understand, yet they keep it to themselves. You never know what is going on in someone elses life completely. Not even marriage nor seeing someone every second of their lives would you even come close.

The reason for the blog isn't for the example above, then though, you can see how it has taken a toll on my life so far. The reason is because I believe your family hides more secrets then you know of. Got you thinking now huh?

Generations upon generations we have lived, our families, some huge some small, each person had a secret or too. I'm not going to go into past history about if you family owned slaves or not (even though, thats a secret that I know some families hide...but it comes out every now and then) You love you fam, thats no question, but you know they hide secrets from the close ones to them. Its bad when you can't tell your fam about something that is bugging you/happened to you. They are the people who might pass judgement on you, but they can never stop loving you for how stupid your secret is.