What Kind of Father will I be?
My father called me earlier today; seems he is going through old VHS (remember that?) and he is finding those home videos that you forgot all about. He was telling me about an early basketball game that he taped from 1991. He was laughing at it, how we played, the people who were on the team (most of them were in my cub scouts pack) and just the overall comedy that came with a 10 nine year olds playing basketball. As I laughed about him telling me about it (and myself reaching into the back of my memories to know what he was talking about) it made me realize that my father took some pride in my upbringing (I guess enough to call me and laugh at me); it got me thinking to myself, what kind of father will I be to my kids?
I guess I am getting to the point/age where that question can be asked and to honestly consider the outcome of it. Getting married, moving to North Carolina and buying a house, I guess the next thing down the road is making sure the "last name" get passed on in the future; but lying on the couch last night and doing some "self reflecting" I feel that even though I have grown up real fast in a short time, I am not to the point where I can honestly be the father that I would want to be.
Walking into walmart, you see all types of things that really sum up the world. A chain of stores, owned by a rich family that employees the lower class at low sums of money; but also you see everyday people in their everyday form. You see little children talking back to their parents and them not doing anything, you see kids "making a scene" and the parents trying to plead with them to stop. You see kids getting what they want cause their parents are too gut-less to put their foot down. I see it and shake my head....Shake my head cause I think I did that at ONE time in my childhood....And the belt probably ensued after that episode. I look at how I would parent and I guess you can say it would be "old school"; as in, the same way I was brought up. (It worked didn't it?) I remember getting scared of "the belt" and how much it hurt; it wasn't a thing of "Beating your kids"; as my father put it "I brought you in this world and I can take you out!" Fear, yet I knew that he wouldn't get "the belt" if I didn't deserve it. I think parents today are a bunch of wimps. They have enough pride to go to someone and tell them that "disicipling" their kids is wrong, but can't get enough foratude to control their own.
Time and understanding will get me to the point where I want to be with my future kids, as I said, I/We already know that "the belt" will be used as a form of discipline, and that rewards will be given when rewards are earned, but also that a little surprise can also show your children that mommy and daddy aren't always "bad". I think I will be a great father, I think I will follow in the footsteps of my dad as my grandfather probably did with his. 3 generations of "last name" men that have inspired to be more than the average, its my duty to make it 4....
I guess I am getting to the point/age where that question can be asked and to honestly consider the outcome of it. Getting married, moving to North Carolina and buying a house, I guess the next thing down the road is making sure the "last name" get passed on in the future; but lying on the couch last night and doing some "self reflecting" I feel that even though I have grown up real fast in a short time, I am not to the point where I can honestly be the father that I would want to be.
Walking into walmart, you see all types of things that really sum up the world. A chain of stores, owned by a rich family that employees the lower class at low sums of money; but also you see everyday people in their everyday form. You see little children talking back to their parents and them not doing anything, you see kids "making a scene" and the parents trying to plead with them to stop. You see kids getting what they want cause their parents are too gut-less to put their foot down. I see it and shake my head....Shake my head cause I think I did that at ONE time in my childhood....And the belt probably ensued after that episode. I look at how I would parent and I guess you can say it would be "old school"; as in, the same way I was brought up. (It worked didn't it?) I remember getting scared of "the belt" and how much it hurt; it wasn't a thing of "Beating your kids"; as my father put it "I brought you in this world and I can take you out!" Fear, yet I knew that he wouldn't get "the belt" if I didn't deserve it. I think parents today are a bunch of wimps. They have enough pride to go to someone and tell them that "disicipling" their kids is wrong, but can't get enough foratude to control their own.
Time and understanding will get me to the point where I want to be with my future kids, as I said, I/We already know that "the belt" will be used as a form of discipline, and that rewards will be given when rewards are earned, but also that a little surprise can also show your children that mommy and daddy aren't always "bad". I think I will be a great father, I think I will follow in the footsteps of my dad as my grandfather probably did with his. 3 generations of "last name" men that have inspired to be more than the average, its my duty to make it 4....
posted by BMass at 23:30
3 Comments:
I definitly agree that you will make a great father. I think I'm going through the same phase of thinking about about parenthood and the prospect of children. Hoping that I will be a great mother; hoping that I raise some great kids. I keep thinking that I wouldn't mind having some kids today - right now - but I know good and well that I'm going to need a couple more years to learn the art of patience.
ps....GO LADY TERPS :)
It's funny that now that we are older and a lot wiser we think about how we will raise our kids. I've always laughed and said I hope my kids never do some of the stuff I did..cause knowing me I might just turn out like my mom lol..which isn't a bad thing....congrats on moving...and the new direction your life is taking....it seems like just yesterday we were all freshmen now we're coming into our own (tear falls LOL)
Remember the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! But first, you are too young and it's too early in your life to think about having kids. Let's get through the wedding, job and home before we start furnishing the earth!:-) But when it is time you will be as good as you got - and I didn't use the belt more than once and threats were good for the rest of the time- you just didn't know it. So remember, spare the rod and spoil the child but limited use goes a lonngg way! Besides with them baggy pants, you don't wear a belt do you????
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